Nobody told me that fear isn’t just monsters and murderers and the villains of my favorite Disney movies. Nobody told me how scary it would be to grow up. Nobody warned me about all the things I would have to worry about, to be afraid of- go to college, pick a career, buy a house, get married, have kids- I can’t think about these things without being scared shitless. The fear that I will never succeed, never be happy, never fall in love, never be good enough- no one told me this fear would live at the back of my head, a looming reminder of my own cowardice. It makes my stomach curl and my throat close up. It’s a bitter taste in my mouth, this fear, and it’s an ache in my chest. It scratches at my brain, constantly vying for my attention. Nobody ever said it would be like this. Nobody taught me how scary life would be.
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