I've seen these floating around my third period blogs, and I got sorta inspired. I'm all about lists, so here's one.
SHIT TO DO BEFORE I KICK IT:
-Finish a novel
-Live abroad
-Live in Seattle
-Visit Egypt
-Learn an instrument
-Fly a plane
-Publish a novel
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Repost: Adulthood
It's freakin' scary, that's what it is.
This stage of my life is overwhelming: life decisions that decide my life, holycrap. I feel like I’m about to get kicked off a cliff without wings or a jet pack. I wish I had more time then I have now to think this through. There's so much work involved: college applications, shoe laces.
This stage of my life is overwhelming: life decisions that decide my life, holycrap. I feel like I’m about to get kicked off a cliff without wings or a jet pack. I wish I had more time then I have now to think this through. There's so much work involved: college applications, shoe laces.
I got this bit from Joseph Nguyen's blog. Pretty much sums it up for me. I'm being hurtled into something that I have no idea how to react to, and I'm being asked to become something that i don't know how to be.
Senior year is already full of things to prepare for: Prom, Graduation, College applications, etc. But I'm a 'big picture' kind of person. I always have been, and i've also always been fascinated with the idea of living on my own. I would plan out all kinds of houses for myself to live in, from big country houses to tiny apartments to treehouses. I would think about what kind of food i would have, where my library would be (because a library is a necessity, of course.) and where every last thing that i owned would go.
But as I've gotten older, those dreams suddenly turned to anxiety. I started actually paying attention to what my parents did. I still want to live on my own, but now i know about all the things I'm gonna have to do.
Banking. Taxes. Home ownership. Car ownership. Insurance. Relationships. Work. Health. Phone Bills. Electricity Bills. Heating Bills. BillsBillsBills. And money. Oh god, the money. What am i supposed to do when my parents aren't there to pay for everything? It's piling up, the little list in my head, and pretty soon it'll collapse.
Okay. So, my parents have explained to me that it doesn't just all happen at once, Dear, don't worry. But it sure feels like it does. And to be honest, I'm freaking out a little.
Senior year is already full of things to prepare for: Prom, Graduation, College applications, etc. But I'm a 'big picture' kind of person. I always have been, and i've also always been fascinated with the idea of living on my own. I would plan out all kinds of houses for myself to live in, from big country houses to tiny apartments to treehouses. I would think about what kind of food i would have, where my library would be (because a library is a necessity, of course.) and where every last thing that i owned would go.
But as I've gotten older, those dreams suddenly turned to anxiety. I started actually paying attention to what my parents did. I still want to live on my own, but now i know about all the things I'm gonna have to do.
Banking. Taxes. Home ownership. Car ownership. Insurance. Relationships. Work. Health. Phone Bills. Electricity Bills. Heating Bills. BillsBillsBills. And money. Oh god, the money. What am i supposed to do when my parents aren't there to pay for everything? It's piling up, the little list in my head, and pretty soon it'll collapse.
Okay. So, my parents have explained to me that it doesn't just all happen at once, Dear, don't worry. But it sure feels like it does. And to be honest, I'm freaking out a little.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
A Writer's Frustration
Joseph Heller said,
"Every writer I know has trouble writing."
And I'm not different
There are days
when the the words simply refuse to come
and that's when the trouble starts
Some days it's angry
stuttering red hot passionate frustration
all the right emotions in all the wrong places
Other days it's melancholy
the blue of the sky without wings to take me there
I gaze into the black page until my heart aches
But when the words finally come
bursting forth like water from a dam
the world is reborn in color
"Every writer I know has trouble writing."
And I'm not different
There are days
when the the words simply refuse to come
and that's when the trouble starts
Some days it's angry
stuttering red hot passionate frustration
all the right emotions in all the wrong places
Other days it's melancholy
the blue of the sky without wings to take me there
I gaze into the black page until my heart aches
But when the words finally come
bursting forth like water from a dam
the world is reborn in color
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