we're all going to diiiiieeeeeee!!!!

It’s true. Not now, necessarily. Not even in the near and foreseeable future. But eventually, each and every single living, breathing one of us will kick the bucket, whether it is from cancer, a bullet, a car crash, or just old age. This is, I assume, common knowledge.

So then why do we act as though we are going to live forever? Why do we live our lives as though we are waiting for them to start? They have started. They started the day we were born. Maybe there wasn’t much we could do as drooly, messy, undeveloped blobs, but it doesn’t take us long to develop our sense of individuality. And yet we waste it on TV, and procrastination.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being a hypocrite. I am just as bad at living my life to the fullest as the average person, probably worse. I'm lazy, sloppy and unmotivated. I spend most of my time avoiding homework, eating, and sleeping. But I hate it. It’s like I’m stuck in a deep hole, and I cant climb out. I’ll be sitting on the couch on a mid-afternoon Saturday, and think to myself "Get up, Grace. Go out and DO something!!" but I’m too tired, too lazy. Why should I?

Because the world isn’t going to wait for me. I get older every day. Every second is a second closer to death, but I still haven’t done anything. What am I waiting for? I dunno. Love, maybe. But that’s silly. I don’t think love is something you can find, or look for. It finds you.

So if you're like me, and most people are, so don’t deny it, then think about it. get off the couch and put down the video game. (not that there’s anything wrong with video games, y'know. It’s just an example.) go outside and soak up some sunshine. Go for a walk, it’s my favorite thing to do. I walk around and just think. You should try it, and it doesn’t matter what you think about. It can be school, sports, or that cute guy (or girl!) in our math class. Or you can think about deeper stuff. I myself have come up with several MINDFREAKINGBLOWING ideas while taking a leisurely walk around the block. And then, try looking around you. See the sky, the birds, and the trees. Feel yourself breathe air, and feel your feet hit the ground one after the other. See people pass you, on the sidewalk, or in cars and bikes. Realize that each and every one of them has an entire life that you don’t know about. They eat, sleep, and live just like you do. You don’t know them, and you probably don’t care to. But they exist, and until that moment, you were completely unaware of that. Isn’t that weird?

Maybe that doesn’t work for other people. But it works for me. Once I get in that state of mind, that my tiny life is so insignificant in this huge web of life that is the world, I am struck with a sudden initiative to make it more significant. It’s not that easy, though. I still lie around and waste space, as often as I can. But I’m getting better. I used to hate even thinking about college, and about my future. Not so much anymore, because I’ve changed my priorities. College is still up there, for sure. But I’m not going because my parents want me to, or because it will get me a good job, and therefore a good life. I'm going because I want to. Because it’s a chance to do exactly what I want for all the right reasons. Because I want to make a difference.

So if you're waiting for love, don’t bother, and don’t worry. It’ll find you. And if you’re just waiting for your life to start, then stop waiting and get started! What are you waiting for?