My favorite character would have to be John, although its a tough choice between him and Dave, since they're both pretty darn awesome. John is vulgar, rude, drinks alcohol and plays video games in his spare time. He's in a band that sings the strangest songs ever (Camel Holocaust is as long as you need it to be, my friend.) He's also conceited. " Yeah, its not a big deal for me to lift heavy objects. I'm sort of used to it, if you know what i mean...of course I'm talking about my penis....if you want to look at my penis, you'd better have a whole afternoon, buddy! You best have five or six hours to take it all in, lest its majesty escape you!" He takes the soy sauce willingly, even after seeing someone shrink themselves to three feet tall after taking it. He's the kind of person who gets kicked out of a school for exploding a Bunsen burner and shattering a window in chemistry class. but he's SO FUNNY. When he and Dave go to Las Vegas and fight the wig monsters, he picks up a chair and makes all sorts of lame puns while beating them with it. " Have a seat, bitch!...You've been sentenced to get the chair, motherfucker!...You wants the committe, asshole, then you best meet with the chair!...There's some dessert! with a chair-y on top!" Theres an entire story that John tells Dave about his investigation, which is hugely exaggerated but more fun to read if you take it seriously. 'John claims that the men hauling him a way from the scene were escorted by other men carrying submachine guns, though, when pressed, he admitted that they may have been flashlights...He then wrestled away the man's gun and "dick-whipped" him with it. I am unclear as to whether or not this means he struck the man in the groin or merely slapped him in the same manner in which he would slap a person with his dick. I never ask John to clarify such things...I suspect that, in reality, either the men at the cleanup site didn't see John at all or they merely gave him a dirty look until he turned around and drove away. Again, i wasn't there and i do not wish to cast an unfavorable light on John's personal credibility." He's witty, sarcastic, spontaneous, and a total deadbeat. but we love him. and by the end of the book, we realize that he's also kind. Dave's girlfriend, Amy, lost a hand in a car accident and hates it because everyone describes her as 'the girl without a hand'. But Dave says to Amy "Let me tell you everything you need to know about John. The reason i was surprised by your hand was because John never once described you as 'the girl with the missing hand'."
The authors writing style is extremely funny, descriptive, perverted, and very random. Dave views everything with a dry sense of humor, and even when he's scared shitless he still manages to drop an F-bomb and a sarcastic comment on us like it's nothing. There are countless penis and fart jokes, which admittedly do get tiresome after a while, but also show who's writing the story really well. For example, if it was from a child's point of view, everything would be terrifying and traumatic. But since it's clearly from a college-maybe-older-age male point of view, its all penis jokes and the wrong reactions to an evil world takeover. I'm gonna go ahead and combine two questions for this one, because the authors writing style and his purpose are really connected in my mind. The purpose of the book is simply to enjoy. Its almost as if Wong has a top hat full of random ideas that seem like you'd have to be high to come up with, and then he pulls one out and writes about it. but for some reason it all fits together, even when it doesn't make sense. He's he editor of this really cool site, but its not exactly rocket science, you know? He's just a regular guy with a really active imagination. One of the other questions was whether or not the book is based on an of the authors personal experiences, and all i can say is i certainly hope not.
Unless, of course, the book is a way a mortal is trying to warn the rest of the world about Korrok. But I don't think He would allow that. If he can control people as easily as the book says he can, then this book can't be real. Unless he's feeding us false information. He can control what people write; the proof is right there in Amy's chat log. It only proves that we are a worthless race. We are weak, sniveling maggots who deserve to perish. Korrok will pass judgement on us, and we will die. He is wise. He knows all and defeats all and is all. His punishment is a rank cornucopia of rotting flesh. He shall devour us and our blood will pour down his throat KORROK THE SLAVE MASTER KORROK THE WISE KORROK THE KNOWING KORROK THE FAMISHED KORROK THE GIVER KORROK THE ALMIGHTY I SERVE NONE BUT KORROK I SERVE NONE BUT KORROK I SERVE NONE BUT KORROK oh my god i just blanked out and i have no idea where i am help me maybe i should
No comments:
Post a Comment