It's like, october couldnt go fast enough two weeks ago, when i was all "isn't halloween this weekend?" OH WAIT, IT'S NOT. and now im FREAKING OUT cause oh hey, in three days i have to start writing. stuff. lots of it. and i mean, if i quit halfway through November, its not as though god unleashes his almighty god-fury down from the heavens. or anything.
.....
However. If i do quit halfway through November, my own god-fury, self loathing and capacity to hate myself forever will unleash itself. Cause i really really want to do this.
Because i think thats what NaNoWriMo is about. I dont get some big fancy award or trophy if i finish. But i do get the self satisfaction of having finally dragged myself away from my spiralling viscious circle of not writing anything at all and still pretending to feel justified in calling myself a writer. After this, 50,000 words of unedited, badly phrased novel will stand as proof that i am, in fact, a writer.
Hooray for self-accomplishment!
~Graciebee
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
National Novel Writing Month!
Also known as NaNoWriMo. I'm terribly excited. i'll finally write a significant amount of something! even though no one is reading this. except maybe mr. sutherland. or kathryn. but probably not. the good news is that nanowrimo is an online writing thing in november, and i have to write over 50,00 words.
which meeeeeeeeeeaaaaaannnnnnnnssssssss that this thing will actually have something on it! hoozah and lots of merriment await me. in december, of course, after the thirty days of writing torture and little sleep.
Cheers!
~Graciebee
which meeeeeeeeeeaaaaaannnnnnnnssssssss that this thing will actually have something on it! hoozah and lots of merriment await me. in december, of course, after the thirty days of writing torture and little sleep.
Cheers!
~Graciebee
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
I am so win at picking berries.
Something new i discovered about myself today: i am a fearless berry picker.
Normally, I'm terrified of bees. and spiders. and any other kind of small, twitchy, scuttery bug, really. Not just the oh-dear-me-this-is-a-little-uncomfortable kind of scared, no. i mean the screeching-and-running-away kind. But not today. A bee? what bee? dunno what your talking about, hun. And spiders? get OUT of my way, bitches.
i swallowed one. they go well with boysenberries.
Also, my hands are covered in thorn scratches. what can i say? anything to get that big, fat, juicy berry, yeah? bwahaha. i also totally don't care that the entire right thigh of my skinny jeans are stained pink from licking my fingers and wiping. Sorry, Mom.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day Two: Welcome to Venice!
OHMYGOSH. this is incredible. Its really hard for me to actually believe that i'm here. I wake up every morning and its like, oh my god. i am IN VENICE, ITALY. whoooooooooooo! its really as beautiful as everyone makes it out to be. the only problem is that theres a lot of construction going on, so the left side of St. Mark's Basilica and the Bridge of Sighs are all covered up with this weird billboard ad stuff... -SIGH- but for some reason, despite the billboard ads and the fact that there are more tourists than actual Venitians, i feel like i got plopped down in a fairy tale.
And yes, i got lost. several times in fact. My mother, god knows why, decided to let me lead the way even though my sense of direction is severely crippled by my sense of adventure. The first really bad time was in daylight, on our way back from St. Mark's Square. we ended up finally running into the Grand Canal, near the Rialto Bridge, so we could find our way back from there. But the last time was late, on the way back from dinner. I got us back part of the way, but got inevitably lost anyways. It was fun, though. This time, we ended up moving away from the touristy shops and restaurants, and into dark shadowy backroads. it took us probly twenty minutes until i magically got us to the Campo nearest our house. I was proud of myself, but i didnt really do much except decide which random direction to go in. the thing with venice is, its exciting to get lost, and if you wander around long enough, eventually you get to where you're going.
And yes, i got lost. several times in fact. My mother, god knows why, decided to let me lead the way even though my sense of direction is severely crippled by my sense of adventure. The first really bad time was in daylight, on our way back from St. Mark's Square. we ended up finally running into the Grand Canal, near the Rialto Bridge, so we could find our way back from there. But the last time was late, on the way back from dinner. I got us back part of the way, but got inevitably lost anyways. It was fun, though. This time, we ended up moving away from the touristy shops and restaurants, and into dark shadowy backroads. it took us probly twenty minutes until i magically got us to the Campo nearest our house. I was proud of myself, but i didnt really do much except decide which random direction to go in. the thing with venice is, its exciting to get lost, and if you wander around long enough, eventually you get to where you're going.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Europe Day One: the longest day in my history of long days
I’m gonna get cancer on this trip. No, really. EVERYBODY smokes here. We were sitting on a bench waiting for our train, and this lady sits behind me and is literally blowing smoke right on me. Like, excuse me, right? But its not weird here. Its totally normal, so I feel like some loser American with a stick up my butt for coughing like a maniac. For having such a reputation for being so clean and tidy, Switzerland sure has a lot of secondhand smoke. But whatever.
The worst part about today is that it drags on forever. I would say ‘dragged’, but technically its still going. We got up at five o’clock in the bright and cheery morning, and hopped in a cab to the san fran airport. The first flight to D.C. was five hours long, and wasn’t actually that bad. I was across the plane from my brother and stepdad, and my mom got to fly business class, the lucky lady. I sat next to a weird old guy who spent basically the whole flight staring at absolutely nothing. But we didn’t really bother each other much, so it was fine. I read a book and drew a weird picture of a girl with skinny arms and a huuuuuuuuuuuge head with eyes too far apart. Kathryn, if you’re reading this, you would laugh at me.
During our layover at the DC airport, my mom got us into the red carpet loungy thing, because she’s awesome. They had cheese cubes and cherry tomatoes and cookies. I was a happy girl. The second flight was longer, seven hours or so. That’s really not so bad, I’ve logged ten or twelve hours on planes before. This time they fed us crappy airplane food and these sugary pastry things. Again, Kat, you would either laugh at me or be proud of me; I took one bite of the thing and threw it away. Soooooooo I watched The Thief Lord to get myself into Venice mode, took some melatonin and tried to take a nap. But unfortunately, despite having five hours of sleep the night before and two sleeping pills under my belt, I still absolutely under no circumstances can ever sleep in a moving vehicle of any kind. I got maybe an hour and a half or so, but in short bursts, so that didn’t do any real damage. And the worst part is that flying to Zurich, Switzerland means that you miss a whole day, basically. Like, you get up at five, get on a plane, get on another one, and its dark outside- oh, did you want to sleep? Sorry, your brain thinks its lunchtime. Tough. Then you get to where you’re going, and brain time is midnight. miiiiidddddddddniiiiiiigggghttttt. but no, its nine oclock in the morning of the next day, silly! No time for sleeping. So I’m writing this at 11:45, swissy time. But there, in my lovely hometown of Alameda, it’s 2:45 in the morning of the 14th of June. I’ve been up since five in the morning of the thirteenth. And I’m not going to get to go to sleep for at least eight more hours. Lovely, isn’t it? All I’m running on right now is adrenaline and Jolly Ranchers. That’s why I’m typing this now, because I know when we finally get to Venice and a nice soft bed, all I’m gonna want to do is sleep. It’s a good thing I love traveling so much, or I’d go absolutely bonkers.
The one remarkable thing about the flight to Zurich for me, was the landing. It’s a small thing, really, but it made me laugh. I didn’t get a very good look from an aisle seat, but the small glimpse of land I got while landing looked a lot like Switzerland. I mean, rustic, yodeling Switzerland. Just how people seem to think Egypt is still ancient Egypt, we think Switzerland is old fashioned or something. Which is completely untrue. I mean, they have like, technology and stuff. But the funny thing is, even from an airplane, wayyyyyy high above the ground, I saw rolling hills and little cottages houses. My god. And right now, our train is stopped by this street that has fancy, shiny professional looking buildings in the back, and in front is a little pink house with four square windows that could be a gingerbread house. I mentioned this, albeit giggling, to my mother, and she said that theres no real need for them to change their buildings, just add new ones as the need arises, so all the old houses are still there. Its pretty neat.
So right now I’m on a train to Milan, but still gotta go through the Alps. Its really pretty, and I’d like post pictures but unfortunately my camera is stuffed at the bottom of my suitcase, and I don’t really wanna unleash the wrath of my compact packing skills on the sweet people in this train. On the other hand, my mom bought me a stuffed dinosaur. She’s now my official writing muse and traveling companion. Her name was Stacy, but I thought it was stupid so I renamed her Charlotte. I know, I use that name way too much. Shut up, Elizabeth. Stop rolling your eyes at me.
So, I’ll leave with this: my brother and I were looking for seats on a train to get from the airport to the actual train station, and there was this girl sitting alone at a four way seat thing. I asked her if the seats were taking. She gibbled something in German, and then I realized: I know enough French to probably get by, I know a couple spots of Italian, your basic pleases and thank you’s . But I know absolutely NO German. Not a smidge. What am I doing here?
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Friday, May 28, 2010
Unwind Book Review
Unwind, a science fiction novel by Neil Shusterman reveals a horrific alternate reality where parents can 'unwind' their children (between ages 13 and 18); surgically remove their body parts and donate them, without actually killing the teenager. It takes place in the United States, but the state is not specified. Unwinding was made legal after something called the Heartland War. Two sides were arguing about whether parents could kill their children if they were unable to care for them, or didn't want them. The war ended with a compromise, called unwinding. The child's body parts are taken apart and given to different people. They dissect all the different parts of the brain, everything. Its pretty creepy, they actually describe it at one point. This guy, Roland, gets unwound, and they numb him so he loses feeling in his feet, then his legs, then his abdomen, etc. and just take his body apart. Theres a nurse who just keeps talking to him, until she says "okay, we cant talk anymore" and then his jaw goes numb. its really freaky.
My favorite character, for some odd reason, was Lev's brother Marcus. he's got such a small part, but i think he deserves a special mention. Lev is a tithe, basically a person who was raised specifically to be unwound. Tithing is a really old term, way back in the medieval times and such. it means giving one tenth of your income to the church. You could give money, but alot of people would give livestock, crops, etc. In unwind, a tithe isn't unnecessarily one tenth of anything, and they aren't really going to the church. except Lev is. Hes the tenth child in his family, which his parents tell him makes him even more 'special'. So, back to Marcus, he says something like this during his toast to Lev; " I guess its good you had ten kids, mom, otherwise we woulda had to cut Lev in half!" ahahahaha. i did actually laugh at that part, even though really its just sad. but the really freaky thing about tithes is that they like being what they are. Their parents are these freaky religious wackos who raise their kids to believe that they were chosen by god to donate their body parts. ewwwwwww. they throw a big party for them when they turn thirteen, which is where Marcus gives his speech. Like Marcus so eloquently points out, its a BIG DAMN PARTY, cause they have to roll in all the birthday parties, funerals, etc. that the kid's gonna miss. Its like attending you're own funeral, but everyone congratulates you on dying. Its freaky also because I'm pretty religious, in my own way( not freaky religious like Lev's parents, or anything), but its a horrible idea for me to imagine my parents donating my body parts to their church. My other favorite character was Cy-Fy. He got a temporal lobe from some kleptomaniac kid, and even though he's a law abiding citizen and all that, he has random urges to steal stuff. He doesn't really know what he's doing, all he gets is these urges that aren't his, and he cant help but act on them.
I think the main purpose of the book is to entertain, but also to make the reader think. i know my parents wouldn't every do anything to me as horrible as unwinding, but still: "everyone knew an unwind order was irreversible, so screaming and fighting wouldn't change a thing. Besides, he found a certain power in knowing his parent's secret. Now the blows he could deal them were so much more effective. Like the day he brought flowers home for his mother and she cried for hours. Like the B-plus he brought home on a science test. Best grade he ever got in science. He handed it to his father, who looked at it, the color draining from his face. "See, Dad, my grades are getting better. I could even bring my science grade up to an A by the end of the semester. An hour later his father was sitting in a chair, still clutching the test in his hand, and staring blankly at the wall." and then this one: "He's going to tell me now, Connor thinks. He's going to tell me they're unwinding me, and then break down in tears, going on and on about how sorry he is about it all. If he does, Connor just might accept the apology. He might even forgive him, and then tell him he doesn't plan to be here when the Juvey-cops come to take him away. But in the end all his father says is "Did you lock the door when you came in?" pg. 7. Its really hard for me to imagine being unwound, simply because my parents were tired of me, but at the same time, easy. I piss my parents off just as much as anybody, and i think maybe, if Unwinding was possible, in just a second of complete weakness, they would think about it. But only for a second. Its amazing, the thought of a parent essentially wiping their kid off the face of the earth because they were too hard to take care of.
The one thing i didn't really like about the book was how the author didn't really describe things clearly. Even exactly what unwinding is is never clearly described. And the clappers? oh god. They were a great plot point, but it was infuriating how you didn't find out what they really were until the end. So first, Connor and Risa pretend to be clappers, and its just a little confusing. all they do is clap and people are like "AHHHHHHHHH RUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSSS." Then, Connor tries to prove to the old lady that he's not actually a clapper by punching a wall and says "See? if my body was explosive we'd be gone..." Or something along those lines. well, okay. that makes a little more sense. Then theres a little discussion somewhere about clappers and why they do whatever they do. (which we don't really know.) people suggest that "they're part of some kind of weird religion, or that they just do it for fun." confusing, yeah. Then finally, Lev and his freaky 'friends' uncover the truth about clappers. They inject explosive crap into their bloodstream. Then, when they clap, or hit walls or do anything forceful, they explode. And blow up whatever is around them. In Lev's case, he wanted to sabotage the harvest camp thing where they take children apart. its a worthy cause, in my opinion. But apart from that, we still don't really know why clappers do what they do. And thus, the elusive clappers still remain...a mystery. The End.
My favorite character, for some odd reason, was Lev's brother Marcus. he's got such a small part, but i think he deserves a special mention. Lev is a tithe, basically a person who was raised specifically to be unwound. Tithing is a really old term, way back in the medieval times and such. it means giving one tenth of your income to the church. You could give money, but alot of people would give livestock, crops, etc. In unwind, a tithe isn't unnecessarily one tenth of anything, and they aren't really going to the church. except Lev is. Hes the tenth child in his family, which his parents tell him makes him even more 'special'. So, back to Marcus, he says something like this during his toast to Lev; " I guess its good you had ten kids, mom, otherwise we woulda had to cut Lev in half!" ahahahaha. i did actually laugh at that part, even though really its just sad. but the really freaky thing about tithes is that they like being what they are. Their parents are these freaky religious wackos who raise their kids to believe that they were chosen by god to donate their body parts. ewwwwwww. they throw a big party for them when they turn thirteen, which is where Marcus gives his speech. Like Marcus so eloquently points out, its a BIG DAMN PARTY, cause they have to roll in all the birthday parties, funerals, etc. that the kid's gonna miss. Its like attending you're own funeral, but everyone congratulates you on dying. Its freaky also because I'm pretty religious, in my own way( not freaky religious like Lev's parents, or anything), but its a horrible idea for me to imagine my parents donating my body parts to their church. My other favorite character was Cy-Fy. He got a temporal lobe from some kleptomaniac kid, and even though he's a law abiding citizen and all that, he has random urges to steal stuff. He doesn't really know what he's doing, all he gets is these urges that aren't his, and he cant help but act on them.
I think the main purpose of the book is to entertain, but also to make the reader think. i know my parents wouldn't every do anything to me as horrible as unwinding, but still: "everyone knew an unwind order was irreversible, so screaming and fighting wouldn't change a thing. Besides, he found a certain power in knowing his parent's secret. Now the blows he could deal them were so much more effective. Like the day he brought flowers home for his mother and she cried for hours. Like the B-plus he brought home on a science test. Best grade he ever got in science. He handed it to his father, who looked at it, the color draining from his face. "See, Dad, my grades are getting better. I could even bring my science grade up to an A by the end of the semester. An hour later his father was sitting in a chair, still clutching the test in his hand, and staring blankly at the wall." and then this one: "He's going to tell me now, Connor thinks. He's going to tell me they're unwinding me, and then break down in tears, going on and on about how sorry he is about it all. If he does, Connor just might accept the apology. He might even forgive him, and then tell him he doesn't plan to be here when the Juvey-cops come to take him away. But in the end all his father says is "Did you lock the door when you came in?" pg. 7. Its really hard for me to imagine being unwound, simply because my parents were tired of me, but at the same time, easy. I piss my parents off just as much as anybody, and i think maybe, if Unwinding was possible, in just a second of complete weakness, they would think about it. But only for a second. Its amazing, the thought of a parent essentially wiping their kid off the face of the earth because they were too hard to take care of.
The one thing i didn't really like about the book was how the author didn't really describe things clearly. Even exactly what unwinding is is never clearly described. And the clappers? oh god. They were a great plot point, but it was infuriating how you didn't find out what they really were until the end. So first, Connor and Risa pretend to be clappers, and its just a little confusing. all they do is clap and people are like "AHHHHHHHHH RUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSSS." Then, Connor tries to prove to the old lady that he's not actually a clapper by punching a wall and says "See? if my body was explosive we'd be gone..." Or something along those lines. well, okay. that makes a little more sense. Then theres a little discussion somewhere about clappers and why they do whatever they do. (which we don't really know.) people suggest that "they're part of some kind of weird religion, or that they just do it for fun." confusing, yeah. Then finally, Lev and his freaky 'friends' uncover the truth about clappers. They inject explosive crap into their bloodstream. Then, when they clap, or hit walls or do anything forceful, they explode. And blow up whatever is around them. In Lev's case, he wanted to sabotage the harvest camp thing where they take children apart. its a worthy cause, in my opinion. But apart from that, we still don't really know why clappers do what they do. And thus, the elusive clappers still remain...a mystery. The End.
Friday, May 14, 2010
dream journal 5/7 ( yeah, it was a while agoooo)
yeah, i wrote this dream out in the morning, so please excuse any bad grammar, and the excessive number of 'i was like' and 'she was all''s. my brain is not anywhere near functional in the early wee hours of the day. ok. so. Me and Kathryn are in a bookstore, in the manga section. except it's lame, so we're kinda frustrated. I'm trying to find volume eight of D.Gray-Man, and she's just checking out this hella weird skull propaganda display. Did i mention there was more merchandise than actual manga? veerrrrrry weird. So I'm like "hey, do you think theres more somewhere else?" and shes all "maybe?" So i go up to this official-looking guy, and there was this whole entire line just to talk to him, which struck my dream-self as hilariously funny. i dunno why. but anyways, he gets to us, and i ask him about the manga, and he says "yes. theres another section with more for your age group." so we staaaaaaaaaaaaaare at him until he says " ok, go find the closest hotspot and go up the stairs." Kathryn's like 'wut?' and im like WTF because 'hotspots' is a word that both my therapist and my history teacher use, so it had me thoroughly confuzzled. Then Kathryn says 'hotspots, Grace. Y'know, a place where they make food." oh, ok. WHATEVER......so we wander around for a bit, and at that point, the bookstore becomes a huge, fancy old-fashioned house. Theres a ton of rooms, full of random ass furniture. There was this one room with nothing but a black vase on the floor, surrounded by people in folding chairs, just staring at it. uh huh. And as we turned around to leave, someone yelled "Grace!" and i yelled "HEY!" back. ~le shrug~ so FINALLY we pass this place where people are...making food.we look around and OH HAY is that a staircase? oh my, how convenient that is.
so what else do we do? we go up the stairs, of course. Once we get to the top, me and Kat aren't me and Kat anymore. We're just these two boys looking for something, i have no idea what. 'Kat' found a boarded up door, and she was trying to open it. In all my boyishness, i told her not to because i had a manly sense of foreboding about what was behind the window. ( which was not, incidentally, what we were looking for. i knew this because i had a penis. at least, i think i did. i never actually checked.) but -he- persisted. so, like a true male, i turned tail and fled. suddenly -poof!- now I'm a tall dark man who randomly works in the big fancy house and cleans stuff, and let me tell you, i was HOT. my handsome man dream person was also in love with girl-me. As in, a tall blond girl who looks like me, only more attractive, cause its my dream. duh. So i go around opening random doors, looking for the evasive mysterious something. The house, BTW, was shaped like a big rectangle, with two stories of rooms on the edges and a big pretty courtyard in the middle. I'm on the bottom floor in the courtyard, and i look up and randomly switch tenses and see the two boys whose bodies Kat and i had previously occupied. I see them, and they see me, and we all start running frantically. I am unsure, at this point, whether we were racing to find the whatever, or if we were working together. So, i go through a really cool mural tunnel to the outside of the house. i run past these filthy windows that are all open, and the people inside are talking about me. They're complaining about how i never clean their rooms, and then i realize that these people are Jews. like its the holocaust or something, and they all live in the basement. And i don't clean their rooms because I'm a freakin Nazi. not really. Cause the "Jews' actually live better then i do, besides their abysmally filthy living quarters that i don't clean because I'm a RACIST. (only in the mornings. really.) they're all laughing and playing in the beautiful green grass and crap around the house while I'm stuck washing the same shit over and over and looking for something that refuses to be found. So i get up and fly away. the end.
so what else do we do? we go up the stairs, of course. Once we get to the top, me and Kat aren't me and Kat anymore. We're just these two boys looking for something, i have no idea what. 'Kat' found a boarded up door, and she was trying to open it. In all my boyishness, i told her not to because i had a manly sense of foreboding about what was behind the window. ( which was not, incidentally, what we were looking for. i knew this because i had a penis. at least, i think i did. i never actually checked.) but -he- persisted. so, like a true male, i turned tail and fled. suddenly -poof!- now I'm a tall dark man who randomly works in the big fancy house and cleans stuff, and let me tell you, i was HOT. my handsome man dream person was also in love with girl-me. As in, a tall blond girl who looks like me, only more attractive, cause its my dream. duh. So i go around opening random doors, looking for the evasive mysterious something. The house, BTW, was shaped like a big rectangle, with two stories of rooms on the edges and a big pretty courtyard in the middle. I'm on the bottom floor in the courtyard, and i look up and randomly switch tenses and see the two boys whose bodies Kat and i had previously occupied. I see them, and they see me, and we all start running frantically. I am unsure, at this point, whether we were racing to find the whatever, or if we were working together. So, i go through a really cool mural tunnel to the outside of the house. i run past these filthy windows that are all open, and the people inside are talking about me. They're complaining about how i never clean their rooms, and then i realize that these people are Jews. like its the holocaust or something, and they all live in the basement. And i don't clean their rooms because I'm a freakin Nazi. not really. Cause the "Jews' actually live better then i do, besides their abysmally filthy living quarters that i don't clean because I'm a RACIST. (only in the mornings. really.) they're all laughing and playing in the beautiful green grass and crap around the house while I'm stuck washing the same shit over and over and looking for something that refuses to be found. So i get up and fly away. the end.
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